Can you believe I was scared to post this pic of my face? 👩🏽

I was scared of being judged (for a hot minute). Of feeling like people would think I was a poser, that I was full of myself, arrogant, self serving, narcissistic - you name it, I thought it. 🧠

I then had to consciously think to myself when I put this photo up as part of my stories last week, that it didn’t matter. I was just having fun posing with my new short, darker hair and after some truly wrong photos, this one emerged and I liked it. It felt bold and fearless. 💇🏽‍♀️

I catch myself passing judgement in my mind’s eye often. If someone new to me acts a way I don’t ‘agree’ with, I can make up stories about them before I know them as I too have strong opinions on what I believe is right and wrong. I have to consciously steer my brain away from them as it doesn’t serve me. I try to remember when I catch myself that I am a fluid human being of flesh and that I am always learning. ✍🏽

If I see I’m passing judgement in my mind about something / someone I try to question myself. Where am I feeling disempowered or what is it that I don’t like in this person that I do? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Also #dontjudgeabookbyitscover

Yesterday is a great example - two guys tried their hardest to push in front of me onto the tube to get on (I had been waiting 10 mins) and I just wasn’t having it. I got on first and sat down. 🙅🏽‍♀️

They then started talking smack about me to each other and I caught them in the act. I served them some serious looks and made them feel very uncomfortable and then I thought why am I doing this? I have totally felt the exact same way when others push in front of me on the tube but I just don’t verbalise it. Although they were whispering and being facetious I managed to disengage, read my book and then let it all go. 📚 

By the time they hit their station I actually managed to smile at them - not ironically but genuinely. I felt released from my judgement of them acting the way they did because the truth is, I’ve done the very same thing! 🚇 

I think the lesson here for me is that judgement is easy. It’s easy to judge anyone that doesn’t meet my exacting standards of ‘how to be’ but where does that leave variety? Humanity? Interesting conversation? Discovering someone / something new? 🙋🏽‍♀️

Ultimately judgement sucks ass and I truly believe we need to shed more of it as a society, especially when the instability of these times and the powers that be encourage us to judge and divide - Brexit, anyone?! 🌚

I think its more radical to work on ourselves - and then to try and find it in us to have more acceptance of each other’s opinions by having compassion and understanding. This will create a more progressive society for all of us to thrive in. 💫

Oh and the biggest takeaway - think before you push in front of others on the tube FFS! 😆